Be literate Ironic coming from me, since I don’t proof read or edit my blog.
But believe it or not I actually re-read my messages many times, checking for spelling and grammatical errors.
I don’t know if I’m exactly qualified to do this, because my response rate is about 15%, but I consider myself above average emotional intelligence and understand, at least in theory, what women would like in first message. And like anything in my life, I probably approach sending messages on online with a little too much “engineering”.
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It’s actually slightly enraging to read some of these messages that these guys are sending to some of my female friends, only because all I can think is “HOW THIS IS MY COMPETITION!? Especially when I receive screen shots of first messages like the one below : I can’t even. That, somehow they are “beating the system” and not really having to do any work, other than craft a single super generic message and send it out dozens of times.
Because if they actually thought that the women they were sending the messages to knew that these were generic messages, they wouldn’t be sending them right?
I wonder how many good, lasting relationships started with a copy and pasted message he sent to 15 other women that same night.
You were just a number in his numbers game, he just happened to be attractive.
I don’t actually know “How to Write the Perfect First Message”, and since I’m being honest, the title of this post is mostly for SEO reasons.
I need this, no, WE need this to be a PSA for guys of the internet who are doing online dating, on how to send a first message.
Here are a few screen shots of a few of the last messages I sent out. And if it doesn’t, that’s fine, I get it, the attractive guy who just writes “hey” will get a response, only because he’s attractive.
I love feedback, as long as you’re not a dick about. I assume that I should actually be TRYING to write a quality message because the content of the message is actually going to be read and weighed in the decision process of whether or not she will be responding back to me. Women, you should absolutely only respond to guys you find attractive, but beware of ANY guy who won’t even spend 5 minutes to read your profile and send you a personalized message.
If I was being honest with the title of this post, I probably would have called it something like “How to write a good first message according to what Single Steve thinks is a good first message, but I’m not really sure you should take my advice because I rarely get responses to my messages”.